Thursday
I see this a lot now. Females love taking back the same guy that hurt them over and over and think just because he came back and apologized it's all good. NO! It's not. VICE VERSA. When someone fucks up once, twice, three times....you start to notice a pattern. He/she is not going to change. If you keep rewarding bad behavior NOTHING is going to change. It's like dealing with kids. If a child does something bad or out of line and the parent gets mad but doesn't do anything about it....the child will do it again! I can understand somethings are small and can be worked out. But to keep taking back a liar, cheater, disrespectful person...then you're the dumb one. Not them. I think a lot of people just love to say "oh we been together for 6 years"....yeah 6 terrible years! Time doesn't matter! How the person treats you does.
Wednesday
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| As females we tend to cling easily. We meet this cute guy, and immediately cling to his actions and words. In which, this is not healthy, but it's so natural for us. We just want to give all of our love so fast. At some point, as a woman you have to break the cycle. Keep in mind, guys do not get attached as fast as we do. |
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| Your first apartment! sounds so cool right? lol it's not all glitz and glamour as it seems. Yes, it is nice to move out of your parents house...having your own space, doing what you want to do, making your own rules, and having anyone over at any time of the day/night. Sounds amazing when you talk about it. I got my first apartment in 2015 and goodness it was nothing but an apartment of lessons. My first apartment was an apartment of LESSONS. For the good and the bad. I learned a lot being on my own for the first time. It's great not having someone on your back about everything and being able to walk around the house naked lol but there is so much responsibility that comes with it. Managing bills, keeping food in the house, staying aware of your surroundings, and also dealing with annoying neighbors and maintenance. But i think i moved out just in time; meaning 20 going on 21. I think 21 is the age where it's time to seriously grow up and take responsibility. If i would've still been living at home at the age of 21, i feel like i would still be a little immature. Yes, i have had some bad times being on my own. But, i have learned to take care of myself by myself. NO help from parents. I didn't want the help. I wanted to feel like a woman, an adult. Also, i spent so much time by myself in my apartment. With that being said, it helped me learn how to discipline myself and my emotions. And even still I am learning that more and more each day. I've enjoyed every second that I've spent by myself. I made some dumb decisions when it came to finances. But, I've learned from that. 2015 was a year of life lessons for me forsure. Even still in 2016, i am still learning so much. My second apartment will be an even better experience. I'll be taking everything I've learned from my first apartment and applying it to my second. I didn't even really decorate my first apartment. It was so boring, so plain lol. After a year of being alone, I've finally figured out how i want to enjoy my time alone and what kind of space i want to create for myself. I cannot wait to decorate my second apartment. I did do a good job of keeping my home my happy place. Yes, i did have some bad nights. Crying myself to sleep sometimes because some things became too much at once. But all in all, i dealt with every last thing life threw at me lol I'd say i handled everything like an adult should. At some point, i had to work a second job doing deliveries downtown that was not safe for me at all. Delivering late at night to neighborhoods i never even heard of. But i did it because i knew i had things to take care of. I just had to pray every night that god was watching over me and kept me safe. I did not just cry and run back home to grandpa. I appreciate everything i had to go through because i just look at it as a learning experience. I will be going into my next apartment more mature, stable finances, and confident. A home is a peace of mind. After work, school, the gym etc....You get to go back home to your comfort zone. I leave all problems at the door. I don't bring those problems into my home. I go home to relax, and enjoy my time alone. It will feel so weird moving out this apartment, but will also feel so damn good. It's like you're leaving so much behind yet taking so much with you. AND THAT IS WHAT IS AMAZING ABOUT YOUR FIRST APARTMENT! |
Tuesday
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| A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there. Sometimes we get way to comfortable in our jobs, our relationships, and life in general. We tend to take the easy route staying in our comfort zone. Struggling to make progress with our personal growth, profession, finances and spirituality. What if you did something today that changed that? Something bold, new, exciting, and a leap of faith that shook up that comfort zone? The grass is always greener on the other side right? But how do you know if you haven't taken any chances. You might end up much happier on the other side following your dreams, living for your goals and doing what you love. |
Monday
Sunday
Saturday
I remember the first time that we met, how could I forget you, when you smiled,
And I turned and I said to you, yo your pure and true.
That's when he took my heart in his hands and kissed it gently.
He opened up his lips, then said his poetry ❤️
And when I look in your eyes, I know that you were meant to be my soldier, so baby come on, I need it desperately.
I'm in love with you, love with you.
Friday
I have felt like this plenty of times. When you feel like the dumbass isn't even listening to you. It's just certain vibes that you get from certain people. When you come across someone that only talks about themselves all the damn time...then leave them alone. I hate arrogance. Never feel like what you have to say isn't important. Sometimes you are just conversing with the wrong dumbass person. I love listening to people talk. It's amazing sometimes when you just sit and really pay attention to their words. It doesn't have to interest you, but you know this person has a strong interest in it. You get to see their passion for a few seconds. I love it. I can listen to someone talk for days and not get bored
I want a happy family and a happy home. I think it's very important to learn how to take care of yourself first before you have a baby. I want my kids to have the world❤️ I want to be my babies role model, inspiration, and motivation. But most importantly, I damn sure want to be a good mother and wife. It wouldn't even be fair to bring a baby into this world when I'm not even stable yet. I still have so much more growing and learning to do. But when I do have them, they will be well taken care of❤️
Monday
It's always so risky when you meet someone new..
It's like okay, what are you here for?
Why are you being so nice to me?
What do you want from me?
What are your true intentions?
Are you serious?
What the hell do you want?
Stop acting like you care.
Do you really care?
Are you looking for something long term?
Maybe we should just stay friends to avoid all the drama.
OMG I cannot catch feelings for you.
I cannot cling to you.
Now I'm clinging to you.
Don't leave me.
I want you.
Sunday
Dear friend...
-just know that I will always admire you. I will always support you. If you ever need me, for anything, you can call me. Just know your company is always welcome in my home. I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope all is well. I hope your family and close friends are well taken care of. You will always have a place in my heart. I will never forget you. I will never lose my love for you. I will genuinely hold on to our bond for as long as I live. I will keep you and your family in my prayers for as long as I live. I wish nothing but the best for you my friend.
❤️ ....peace and blessings
Saturday
Thursday
Tuesday
Friday
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| I see a man, holding his love. Wrapping his arms around her. Protecting her. The blanket wrapped around her legs, curled up to him symbolizes him keeping her safe. Her comfort zone. His head leaned forward pressed against hers. He has a stake stabbed through his eye. He is mortally wounded. He fought for her, to protect her, to win her love, and lost. Yet he continues to comfort her and keep her safe even after the fouls of his tries have failed. He's protecting her. Consoling her. She is healthy, safe, and has the ability to run at any time into the arms of another man. She has penetrated his chest cavity and is holding his heart. For if she removes her hand, he shall go lifeless. She is keeping him alive, and he is keeping her alive. She knows she can't survive without him. She can't let him go. She can't remove her hand from the one person who has made so many sacrifices for her. She will never find another to love her as he does. He is her backbone. Protector, comforter, and best friend. For without each other, both shall parish. A true image of love and a strong indication of how real love should be. Never give up on true love -I did not write story up above! |
"Loneliness is dangerous. it's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people" -unknown poet.
-I mean seriously I can't stress enough how important it is to learn how to love your own company. I didn't learn this until 2015. Being in my apartment all by myself. At first it was weird, and didn't feel right...coming from a house full of people! Literally, my whole life we always had a house full in my grandpa's house lol. I didn't know how to be by myself at first, honestly i didn't like it for a minute. But after awhile I had no choice but to deal with it. I made the decision to move out, no one forced me to go out on my own. But it was honestly one the best decisions i had made for myself. It was my first time truly learning myself and being alone. Going home to my apartment is the best part of my days now lol i be so thirsty to go home and do nothing but relax, listen to music, light candles and turn the heat on lmao seriously the greatest feeling ever when you can sit by yourself and feel nothing but peace and happiness....❤️ I never understood why people think being alone means lonely or depressed! They got it all twisted. Learning to be alone is one the greatest things you will ever accomplish! ....and you're not as alone as you think when you have Faith in God ❤️
Thursday
peace and blessings..
I swear I fell back so hard in 2015, probably the worst year I've had. There's no better feeling than being able to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. I pray to God every night and day❤️ I never lose faith and I don't regret anything he has put me through the past few months. Growing, maturing, and progressing is what I will continue to do. I've learned how to not put myself back in the situations I was in in 2015. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having faith...
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