Monday
It's always so risky when you meet someone new..
It's like okay, what are you here for?
Why are you being so nice to me?
What do you want from me?
What are your true intentions?
Are you serious?
What the hell do you want?
Stop acting like you care.
Do you really care?
Are you looking for something long term?
Maybe we should just stay friends to avoid all the drama.
OMG I cannot catch feelings for you.
I cannot cling to you.
Now I'm clinging to you.
Don't leave me.
I want you.
Sunday
Dear friend...
-just know that I will always admire you. I will always support you. If you ever need me, for anything, you can call me. Just know your company is always welcome in my home. I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope all is well. I hope your family and close friends are well taken care of. You will always have a place in my heart. I will never forget you. I will never lose my love for you. I will genuinely hold on to our bond for as long as I live. I will keep you and your family in my prayers for as long as I live. I wish nothing but the best for you my friend.
❤️ ....peace and blessings
Saturday
Thursday
Tuesday
Friday
 |
| I see a man, holding his love. Wrapping his arms around her. Protecting her. The blanket wrapped around her legs, curled up to him symbolizes him keeping her safe. Her comfort zone. His head leaned forward pressed against hers. He has a stake stabbed through his eye. He is mortally wounded. He fought for her, to protect her, to win her love, and lost. Yet he continues to comfort her and keep her safe even after the fouls of his tries have failed. He's protecting her. Consoling her. She is healthy, safe, and has the ability to run at any time into the arms of another man. She has penetrated his chest cavity and is holding his heart. For if she removes her hand, he shall go lifeless. She is keeping him alive, and he is keeping her alive. She knows she can't survive without him. She can't let him go. She can't remove her hand from the one person who has made so many sacrifices for her. She will never find another to love her as he does. He is her backbone. Protector, comforter, and best friend. For without each other, both shall parish. A true image of love and a strong indication of how real love should be. Never give up on true love -I did not write story up above! |
"Loneliness is dangerous. it's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people" -unknown poet.
-I mean seriously I can't stress enough how important it is to learn how to love your own company. I didn't learn this until 2015. Being in my apartment all by myself. At first it was weird, and didn't feel right...coming from a house full of people! Literally, my whole life we always had a house full in my grandpa's house lol. I didn't know how to be by myself at first, honestly i didn't like it for a minute. But after awhile I had no choice but to deal with it. I made the decision to move out, no one forced me to go out on my own. But it was honestly one the best decisions i had made for myself. It was my first time truly learning myself and being alone. Going home to my apartment is the best part of my days now lol i be so thirsty to go home and do nothing but relax, listen to music, light candles and turn the heat on lmao seriously the greatest feeling ever when you can sit by yourself and feel nothing but peace and happiness....❤️ I never understood why people think being alone means lonely or depressed! They got it all twisted. Learning to be alone is one the greatest things you will ever accomplish! ....and you're not as alone as you think when you have Faith in God ❤️
Thursday
peace and blessings..
I swear I fell back so hard in 2015, probably the worst year I've had. There's no better feeling than being able to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. I pray to God every night and day❤️ I never lose faith and I don't regret anything he has put me through the past few months. Growing, maturing, and progressing is what I will continue to do. I've learned how to not put myself back in the situations I was in in 2015. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having faith...
Tuesday
from a females perspective...
From a females perspective...
-get you a MAN who wants you for more than your beautiful curves. Stop messing around with a so called "man" who doesn't have his shit together. Stop taking back these triphline ass little boys. If he did you wrong, LEAVE HIS ASS. There is no need to bring that negativity back into your life. At some point you have to let go of what you may have thought you once loved. I don't care how long you two have been dating, been in a relationship or have known eachother. There is always another man out there who will have more respect for you, love you more, and most importantly..is more appreciative. It's okay to start off as friends once you two first meet. I hate when people rush into relationships only based off of physical attraction. Who cares if he gets mad because you do not want to have sex with him right away. OH FUCKING WELL. Get a man. and stop looking for love, stop being so dependent on that triphline ass "man" to get his shit together so you two can work. In other words, if his ass has played you more than once, and you two have been through it plenty of times..(the arguments, the cheating, the lies) but yet you still feel the need to hang around in hopes that he will get it together and start loving you correctly. STOP!! Stop waiting around for him, because he will not get it together anytime soon. A man will only do what you allow him to do. If you know he's been cheating and fucking around but yet you still take him back...his ass will CONTINUE to do it!! Why? Because your dumbass keeps taking him back, your allowing that behavior! At some point you are going to realize that it's just a never ending cycle. and who has the time and energy to argue all the damn time. or to even have trust issues? Who wants to deal with that nonsense in a relationship! A relationship is more than sex, physical attraction. Understand who you are getting into a relationship with. Understand each others intentions! and if you are in a relationship...obviously your intensions should be the same! My intentions are to have someone to grow with, build with, learn from. Someone who I can trust and grow beside. I want a man who has the intentions on being with me for a lifetime, not just a few months. and even we don't last a lifetime...well so be it. Atleast we did have those intentions from the start but maybe things just didn't work out over a period of time. But understand that it is okay to argue. You argue and then compromise. You don't argue about the same bullshit over and over! Once you argue about it..it should be done and over with. Be a woman to your man. Stop with all the "I'm crazy" bullshit! It's not cute. No man wants to deal with a crazy ass female every damn day. Be his soft touch, his warmth! Be his woman that he can come home to and feel at ease. I wouldn't dare want my boyfriend/husband to not want to come home after work because he knows he has to deal with my "crazy ass" All that is unnecessary. And it will only push him away. It will push him away towards another female...a female who he feels will give him that warmth and comfort. and if the shit is not working out, LET IT GO! Stop giving these triphline ass little boys a thousand chances. Love is so unintentional and so unexpected. and it only comes to those who least expect it. Stop "searching" for love. or looking for a "bae" Work on yourself, gather yourself together. I strongly believe everything that happens in our lives is all in God's timing. Stop rushing and be patient ❤️
I never get upset when the communication stops between me and another person. People come and go...i don't feel the need to engage in pointless conversations, or conversations that never going anywhere (also meaning pointless) I love a person who I can talk to daily about different things!! There's so much more to talk about than only asking me "what you doing?" I can only hold conversations with someone who is open minded, someone who can look at all different aspects. I can't stand someone with "tunnel vision" open your mind up a little. If you can only approach with me "wyd?" Then the whole point of texting me is worthless. and I don't care about having someone who I've texted maybe days or weeks in a row and then all of a sudden we don't text anymore. Bye. For one, i don't even care to text all day long. How about you call me? Offer to see me in person? I like to see emotions and reactions. You don't get that through text. We cling to texting someone because it's easier and it doesn't take a lot of effort to do. I don't mind sitting on the phone or conversing in person. That's just my personal preference❤️
Friday
Wednesday
A dream that turned into a story.. Part 2
"Susie, lower your voice please, daddy is in the next room." It breaks my heart to hear my daughter say she is scared of her own father. "mommy, i saw something..." i look into Susie's eyes. She knows something, i know she knows. "what is it baby?" "you have to promise not to tell daddy mommy." I carefully get up, and walk over to the door. I quietly crack it open to look over into the next room to see if Fred is still sleep. I close the door back, pushing the towel back under the crack. I even start to run the water in the sink to cover up our voices. "what is it baby, you can tell mommy anything?"
"Mommy daddy is not a good person...
"Mommy daddy is not a good person...
Please don't drink and drive!
Screeching tires, shattering glass, twisted metal, fiber glass
The scene is set, it all goes black. The curtain raised it's final act. Sirens raging in the night, sounds of horror gasps of fright. Intense pain, the smell of blood, tearing eyes begin to flood.
They pull out our bodies one by one,
"What is going on, we were only having fun?"
One of my friends is missing, what did i do?
Her scattered belongings everywhere, in the road there lies her shoe.
A man is leaning over me, looking in my eyes,
"What were you thinking son?"
"Did you really think you could drive?"
He pulled up the sheet still looking in my eyes.
"If only you'd called your mom or dad, you'd still be alive!"
I started to scream, I started to yell!
But no one could hear me, no one could tell.
They put me in an ambulance; they took me away. The doctor at the hospital exclaimed, "DOA!"
My father's in shock, my mother in tears, she collapses in grief, overcome by fear.
They take me to this house and place me in this box.
I keep asking what is happening, but I can't make it stop.
Everyone is crying, my family is so sad. I wish someone would answer me, I'm starting to get mad.
My mother leans over me and kisses me goodbye. My father pulling her away, she is screaming "WHY?"
They lower my body into a dirt grave, it feels so very cold, I yell to be saved.
Then I see an angel; I begin to cry.
"Can you tell me what is happening?"
She replies, "YOU DIED"
I can't be dead i'm still so young, i want to do so many things like sing, dance and run.
What about college or graduation day? What about a wedding? Please, i want to stay.
The angel looked upon me, and with a saddened voice,
"It didn't have to end like this, you knew you had a choice."
"I'm sorry, it's too late now; time I can't turn back, you'r life is finished son; and that is a fact."
Why did this happen? I didn't want to die!
The angel, she embraced me and with her words she sighed
"Son, this is the consequence you paid to drink and drive, I wish you'd made a better choice, if you did, you would be alive. It doesn't matter if you beg me, or plead on a bended knee, there is nothing I can do, you have to come with me."
Looking down at my family, I said my last goodbye.
I'm sorry I disappointed you dad, mom..please don't cry.
I didn't mean to hurt you or cause you any pain, I'm sorry all your left with is a grave that bears my name. I'm sorry all your dreams for me have all been ripped away. The plans for my future all gathered in a grave.
It was such a stupid thing I did, I wish i could take it back;
But the curtain is being lowered.
SO ENDS THE FINAL ACT...
Tuesday
Baby I'm happy you're home,
Let me hold you in my arms
I just want to take the stress away from you..making sure i'm doing my part, Boy is there something you need me to do? If you want, I got it. Say the word, I will try it. I know whatever i'm not fulfilling, another woman is willing, I'm going to fulfill your mind, body and spirit.
I promise you, I'll keep myself up. Remain the same chick, you fell in love with. I'll keep it tight, I'll keep my figure right. I'll keep my hair fixed, keep rocking the hottest outfits. When you come home late tap me on my shoulder..I'll roll over. Baby i heard you, I'm here to serve you. If it's love you need, to give it is my joy. All i want to do is cater to you boy.
Monday
On & On..
Peace and blessings manifest with every lesson learn,
If your knowledge were your wealth then it will be well earn
If we were made in his image then call us by our names
Most intellects do not believe in god but they fear us just the same
-Badu is saying that if we're all made in god's image, then we deserve the same respect, so call me by my name, nothing else...most intellects are convinced that god doesn't exist, but the fear of a higher being or some other unknown force like fate scares us all..
Saturday
"Smoking and stress become a vicious cycle in which people smoke because they are stressed and then become more stressed because they smoke"
When smokers quit...
Within 20 minutes..your heart rate goes down.
Within 3 months..your circulation and lung function improves.
Within 9 months..you start to breathe easier and cough less.
Within 12 months..the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.
After 1 year.. your coronary heart disease risk is cut in half.
After 5 years..your risk of cancer of the mouth, throat and bladder is cut in half.
After 10 years..your risk of dying from lung cancer is cut in half.
After 15 years..the risk of coronary heart disease is the same as a non-smokers.
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