summer came around and the flowers bloomed. he became the sun, i became the moon

a queen should protect her king, as a king should protect his queen. and when that kingdom fails, the love shall still be there. But i won't dwell, cause life was never promised to be fair. With open arms, you may come back in. But please keep your distance, for we may not sin again. Our castle was filled with love, maybe lust. but it has fallen because you my love, i could not trust. From roses and sweet scents, to dust and cloudy vents. The flame arised, and when i woke up, you were no longer by my side. Tears swept the floor, and drowned the bed. They say what's unknown is better left unsaid. A queen is still a queen, a king is still a king. May our spirits criss-cross for whenever that may be. If our kingdom reunites, be ready to put up a strong fight. For we would have to start over, building from the ground up. My heart tells me it will be beautiful, as long as you don't fuck up!

my ex love them ugly bitches lol

candles lit ❤ incense burning...feel my vibe. Its only the beginning. Taking my time. read me. learn me.

bag lady, you gone hurt you back. dragging all them bags like that. I guess nobody ever told you, all you must hold on too, is you.

movies.movies. and more movies ❤

Wednesday. my favorite day of the week. It's the middle of the week. You're halfway through your week. Each day is a new chance to better yourself. Don't dwell on yesterday. make everyday better than yesterday. my best advice i could ever give someone is to get your rest. learn how to hibernate. stay in touch with yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically. stop making time for everyone else. isolate. take as many hours or days to your self as you need. give the whole week or weekend to yourself. rest. it's the best thing you could ever do for you. anyone who knows me well knows i am all about getting my sleep, literally. i will schedule my naps. (crazy right) i don't care. my sleep means everything to me. and it's not being lazy i work my 8-5 Monday - Friday, i'm in school and i am in the army. so yes, sleep/rest is very very important to me.

i like my men with a good heart and good intentions. But, he also has to have that slight edge of hood, that bad boy demeanor. 

it feels so damn good waking up with a peace of mind. waking up everyday happy. waking up everyday feeling blessed. i feel content. I've isolated myself from toxic people, toxic vibes. i let go of toxic habits. i feel great. and i refuse to let anyone take me out of my element. take me out of my vibe. only the strong survive. 

i have become selfish with my time and guarded with my presence. 

I now cater to myself more than i cater to others

i started stating exactly how i feel, holding nothing back

my heart is still good, while my intentions remain pure.

speak this into existence ✨

baby you don't know what you do to me, between me and you i feel the chemistry. I won't let no one come and take your place. Cause the love the you give, it can't be replaced. 

                                 RIP Aaliyah

Westside, Outlaws, Makaveli the Don, Solo, Killuminati, The 7 Days. 

Can i get a window seat? Don't want nobody next to me. I just want a ticket out of town, a look around, and a safe touch down. Window seat, don't want nobody next to me. I just want a chance to fly, a chance to cry. and a long bye bye

settled in

I sign my lease to my new apartment today. Thank you God ❤ #changes2k17

restore and regrow. relax and replenish.my key for the next few months is to lay low. fall back in love with myself and out of love with everyone else (besides family) i want to get back to doing the things that make me happy. expanding my horizons. making physical and mental changes. i just signed a lease on a new spot, i plan to create a beautiful, peaceful atmosphere out of it. i have a few things in mind that i would love to get started on right away. By December, i'm trying to see a difference in myself.

WESTSIDE!

YOU MF'S KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I'M ON THIS TRACK YALL NIGGAS AIN'T EVEN ON MY LEVEL

DON'T BE UPSET, IT'S GOOD SEX, WHEN YOU NEXT TO ME, DO YOU WANNA TEST ME, PUT YOUR TIRED HEAD ON MY CHEST, A THUG NIGGA'S IN THE HOUSE, NOW YOU CAN REST


POUR OUT SOME LIQUOR AND I REMINISCE, CAUSE THROUGH THE DRAMA, I CAN ALWAYS DEPEND ON MY MAMA

GRAB YA GLOCKS WHEN YOU SEE TUPAC

I WON'T DENY IT, IM A STRAIGHT RIDAH, YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH ME, GOT THE POLICE BUSTIN AT ME, BUT THEY CAN'T DO NOTHING TO A G

CAN'T TRUST A BITCH IN THE BUSINESS, SO I GOT WITH DEATH ROW

CALL THE COPS WHEN YOU SEE TUPAC

WE GOTTA START MAKING CHANGES, LEARN TO SEE ME AS A BROTHER, INSTEAD OF TWO DISTANT STRANGERS.

I SEE NO CHANGES, ALL I SEE IS RACIST FACES, MISPLACED HATE MAKES DISGRACE TO RACES

MAKAVELI

THUG NIGGA TILL WE DIE, NO MERCY ON THESE PLAYA HATIN BITCHES, ASK ME WHY, WHEN WE RIDE

FORGIVE BUT DON'T FORGET GIRL KEEP YA HEAD UP


AND EVEN AS A CRACK FIEND MAMA, YOU ALWAYS WAS A BLACK QUEEN MAMA. 

MAKAVELI IN THIS KILLUMINATI, ALL THROUGH YOUR BODY

THE BLOW'S LIKE A TWELVE GAUGE SHOTTY

FOLLOW ME, EAT MY FLESH, FLESH AND MY FLESH

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUPAC AMARU SHAKUR, 6.16.1971

I LOVE YOU!

I really been blogging for three years now, another 2014 . . 


If I tell you I need you, do not take it lightly. I do everything I can to never have to depend on anyone, to never show weakness, and if I say that I need you, it means I am trusting you to catch me when I fall.

never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars. 

I wrote this post back in 2014...it will forever be my favorite



First off, I'd like to take the time to apologize to the power above me...god. I love the saying "Let Go, Let God" it's so powerful. Yet sometimes I am to scared to let go. For some reason I feel like I'm letting go of all my troubles and giving them to someone else. Well obviously that's what the quote means clearly, but... It's like idk, I'd be so stubborn and think that if I hand my problems to someone else, they're going to mess up what I think is going right or what I want to go right. I've been so stupid. Realizing everything happens for a reason, in which I am a strong believer of that quote....but I had to realize it's not working out because it's not meant to work out, it may NOT be meant to work out RIGHT NOW at this very second in my life. God has better things planned for me. He knows what's ahead me. He already knows what troubles I am going to face down the road, but those obstacles will just make me stronger mentally. I've been through so much my whole life, in which I'm sure we all can relate. Everybody has a story. You have to sit back and realize your story was made for a reason. Love your life story, embrace it! Embrace all your struggles, your hard times, and your good times! Embrace everything god has given you... and be thankful for those bad times and good times. I just get so caught up in what I'm doing, I get so stressed. And sometimes it's like I don't want to hand it over to another person...I want to work it out myself and organize everything myself. After awhile I realize I can't do it. I can't handle all that's being thrown at me! I love the fact that I am mentally strong because I WILL put myself through something for the longest trying to fix it, make it right, make it go my way.....until finally....I just break. That's when I become humble. I fall back. I realize who sits above me. I apologize to him for ignoring his abilities to help me. and then I pray again. But with me it's a never ending cycle. Once I get so caught up in something, I try and try and try to make it go my way no matter what it takes. I came to realize that I'm not asking for a handout.....I'm just asking for guidance, strength, protection, and love.

All my real doggs still kick it with me

All my down hoes still tricking with me

All the true gangsta's know

Nate ain't never love no hoe

All the hood rats still shake it for me

All my true fans still check it for me

All the real smokers know

Nate ain't passing nothing but dope indeed

Real Trees

Chronic Leaves

No seeds

NAME THAT SONG . . .

Starts off like a small town marriage, lovely wife and life, baby carriage
Now all the stars have cars, Success of course.
But it ends in, Hollywood Divorce
Hollywood Divorce. 

You can run the streets with your thugs, I'll be waiting for you. Until you get through, I'll be waiting. 

What i thought i had, was never really mine. It was all a mind game. Telling me you love me from time to time. I was really feeling you, you really had me going. Fussing and cussing, configuring on which way our relationship was really going. You told me i was your future wife, then turned around and slit those words up with a sharp ass knife. My presence is a privledge. I make time for who i want. Whenever you told me you missed me, i'd try to make it to you by dark. Lying beside you, was always a good feeling. Kissing and touching all over me, making me feel like a queen, with the world beneath me. You didn't have much to give, and i never asked for much. I just wanted a cute ass date night with only us. So i could just stare you down all night and admire what you had done for me. Ending the night off in your arms, making you feel so close to me. At this point, it will never be the same. Im sorry i couldnt keep up and enjoy playing your mind games.

I just hope your happy

when our bodies touched, nothing else mattered. You made me feel secure. I felt safe. All my problems went away.

pretty girl spread your wings, fly high and never turn back.

my generation and the generation after me are the worst. I honestly hate my generation. There is no trust, there is no respect. There is no loyalty. There is only Selfishness. Hate. Rudeness. Everybody wants to be in competition. Bragging about what they don't really have. Lazy.

I was born with an old soul.

The materialistic things don't impress me. I'd rather read a book than sit on social media all day. I'd rather watch movies, eating my ass off the whole weekend rather than hanging in the clubs. I like to stay behind the scenes. Im not flashy. I don't care to be well known. I don't care to have all the "hoes" i don't follow the crowd. I don't care to do what everyone else is doing. I'd rather lay by myself every night than lay with just anyone just to feel wanted. I'd rather talk to myself rather than talk to someone who really isn't listening. I'd rather sit by myself in a room full of people and observe.

I have a big ego. But i am very humble about it. I know who i am. I know what i stand for. I know what i bring to the table. I never second guess myself. People always tell me they love how refined i am and how i carry myself. To me that is the biggest compliment. It shows that i don't have to be pushy and always in someones face to get attention. People notice me simply for just being myself. Laidback, chill, the pretty girl sitting over there. Ill never change for no one.

when i met you last night baby...before i blew your mind. I thought we had a chance baby

no more! 

now that i'm sober you ain't that fine.

i don't like liars. i don't like cheaters. walk away from me before you do these things. it is not fun getting hurt. it is not fun having your heart played with over and over. it is not fun to keep crying over the same bullshit. just be real with me. that's literally all i ask. be honest with me always. it would hurt a lot less if you would just be real from the start. 

i always get asked Why am i Single? What do i look for in a guy? So here it is. I'll just jump right to the point I AM A SPOILED BRAT! not necessarily saying "my way or the highway"  I just want my man to spoil me with his affection, his kisses, his touch, his attention, his time. I need my man to always keep me uplifted in high spirits. I need a man who will go out of his way for me. I am a super big cry baby. If i feel like i am not getting what i need from him, my bratty side will start to come out. I don't ever expect a man to bow down and do whatever the heck i say. I just simply ask for RESPECT. He should not have a problem showing me off. Letting the world know he's mine. I just want all his love. A man who will give his woman the world is the man for me. I like funny guys. A guy that can keep me laughing is a blessing. Laughing, joking around, just being goofy all around is one of my favorite things. He has to be able to understand my humor, my love, my anger, my signs i give him when i start feeling like things aren't going as should. I want my man to be able to READ ME LIKE A BOOK. More importantly, i need a man who promises to protect me physically and mentally. I also want a man who loves giving surprises, cause i love surprises. I just want my man to love me with every vein in his body. As i will do the same.

As a woman, i promise to give my man support, all my love, all my affection. I promise to cater to him every day and night. I promise to make him feel like he is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I promise to be my mans strength when he is weak. I promise to RESPECT him to the absolute fullest. I promise to fulfill his needs the best that i can. My baby gone have the world. As long he does good by me, lord knows i promise to do good by him. He just won't understand how much love i will have in heart for him. My heart has been broken and played with too many times. Once i finally have a man who will treat me like the woman i am, the queen i am, i PROMISE i will love him like i've loved no other. I do ask for marriage and babies! He HAS to want marriage and babies!!! I promise to be a loving, respectful, caring, mother and wife. 

But how will i know? How will i know when i have met that one? I don't know. It's all in Gods Hands. I will not force nothing to be that does not want to be. To my Fine ass Future Boyfriend/Husband....Just know baby that i will love you more than anyone has ever loved you before. I will make sure you are always good. I will always help your stay on your feet. My goal is to help you reach your goals. and believe that no other man will have NOTHING on you. 

First time when i saw you boy, it was a warm and sunny day.
All i know was i wanted you, i really hoped you looked my way.
You smiled at me so warm and sweet, i could not speak.
You make me feel like a little bitty girl, what do you do to me?

You looked at me with certainty
I couldn't look away
Took your jacket off
like you were here to stay.

Chasing your pretty thoughts
and your plastic love

There goes my mind
Let it go
You're that laced trimmed danger
One day you'll be the face of a stranger.

I couldn't look away
Chasing your pretty thoughts
You're mine

Your sinking in my soul
Chasing your pretty thoughts

In intervals, you're sinking in
You're sinking in my soul

Thought to myself:
"Don't, don't you lose control!"

Started to undress you
with my wandering eyes
Told myself you'd be gone by sunrise

Cause you're that laced trimmed danger
One day you'll be the face of a stranger

what you do

what you do

what you do to me

making me feel so alive...

breath you in i am getting so high.

would you be my paradise?

ooh hey, I'm trying to decide

Which way to go, Think i made a wrong turn,

Back there somewhere.

Tried to run, but i lost my way, Stopped to watch my emotions sway.

Knew the toll but i would not pay

You never know how the cards may lay.

Time to save the world, Where in the world is all the time

So many things i still don't know

So many times I've changed my mind

Guess i was born to make mistakes

But i ain't scared to take the weight

So when i stumble off the path

I know my heart will guide me back.

Love is life and life is free

Take a ride of life with me

Free your mind

and find your way

There will be a brighter day.

AND I CAN'T EVEN TRIP,

CAUSE I'M JUST LAUGHING AT YA

YOU TRYING HARD TO MAINTAIN

BUT GO HEAD,

CAUSE I AIN'T MAD AT YA!

If i was your best friend, I'd want you around all the time.

Can i be your best friend, If you promise you'll be mine.

WHO WAS A BETTER A RAPPER,

BIGGIE OR TUPAC?

One of the most controversial questions...

I look at it like this..

Both rappers were amazing storytellers.

But how can you even compare? 

Biggie and Pac had 2 different rhythms.

Biggie was more laid back, a relaxed Poet who had a lot of stories  to tell with lots of added imagery and detail.

Pac was more of a  "Ruff Ryder" "Thug Life" "All up in your Face" type of Rapper. Pac made sure his voice was heard in every song. Pac rapped specific facts about running the streets, selling drugs, being in jail, and his struggle. He rapped strictly off of his life experiences and exactly what he went through.

Yes, Biggie rapped about the streets, selling drugs, being in jail and so on. But Biggie told non-fiction and fiction stories. I think of Biggie as someone who could tell a dope ass bedtime story.

Pac gone tell you exactly how it is. He states nothing but facts.

Although the rumors say "Who Shot Ya?" wasn't a sneak diss towards Pac...just listen to the difference between "Who Shot Ya?" and "Hit em Up" . . . You can clearly hear the difference in their rhythm!

IT'S HARD TO SAY WHO WAS BETTER!

They both talked about the same ish just in two different ways. 

Put it like this, Both Rappers Were Great. Freaking Fantastic!

But if i were to pick who these rappers were to do a collab with...


I would put Big with Jayz...Their style is the same. Hell, Jayz den stole a couple of Biggie's lines. I don't think he was doing it in bad way, but more just showing respect/praising one of his best friends. 


Pac, i would most deff put with N.W.A. BEFORE the group split up. Pac and NWA deff had some similarities. 

This is just my PERSONAL OPINION.

RIP BIGGIE SMALLS AND TUPAC SHAKUR

Grab ya glocks, when you see Tupac

Call the cops, when you see Tupac,

Who shot me, but ya punks didn't finish

Now ya 'bout to feel the wrath of a menace

Nigga, I hit em' up

PRETTY GIRLS DON'T ARGUE OVER LAME GUYS 

😍

It's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual

A step-by-step booklet for you to get
Your game on track, not your wig pushed back

Rule Number Uno, never let no one know
How much dough you hold cause you know
The cheddar breed jealousy 'specially


Number 2, never let 'em know your next move
Don't you know Bad Boys move in silence and violence?


Number 3, never trust no-bo-dy
Your moms'll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Hoodied and masked up, shit, for that fast buck
She be laying in the bushes to light that ass up

Number 4, I know you heard this before
Never get high on your own supply

Number 5, never sell where you rest at
I don't care if they want a ounce, tell 'em bounce!

Number 6, that goddamn credit? Dead it
You think a crackhead paying you back, shit forget it!

7, this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely separated
Money and blood don't mix like 2 dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit

Number 8, never keep no weight on you!


Number 9 shoulda been Number 1 to me,
If you ain't gettin' bagged stay the fuck from police
If niggas think you snitchin' they ain't trying to listen
They be sittin' in your kitchen, waiting to start hittin'

Number 10, a strong word called consignment
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain't got the clientele, say "hell no!"
'Cause they gon' want they money rain sleet hail snow
Follow these rules you'll have mad bread to break up

If not, 24 years on the wake up


NAME THAT RAPPER....

Have you ever been so sleepy and haven't had any sleep in almost 3 days, your brain aches, you don't feel like yourself, everything annoys you and then finally you go to bed early, sound asleep, and wake up feeling like God just blessed you in your sleep cause same.