So let's talk about when i first met you..
February 14th....remember?
i remember lol
You were the only guy who told me Happy Valentines Day.
Of course, normally, well honestly....
I don't care for Valentines day.
and io knew in the back of my mind that i wasn't the only girl who you had said that too.
So after talking to you for about a day...
Baby you had me hooked...
I still remember bits & parts of our first conversation.
As i recall, you were at your friends house playing pool,
as i was layed up in my bed, thinking to myself
"Who is this guy?"
"Why is he acting like he is oh so interested?"
Blushing to myself every time you called me beautiful :)
I'll never forget your exact words....
"So you mean to tell me a girl as beautiful as you is by herself on Valentines Day!"
All i could do was laugh and respond with "yeah"
Secretly hoping to myself that you would ask me on a date.
Surprisingly, you did :)
If i remember correctly, it was a Sunday night.
We went to go see Kevin Hart's About Last Night
After the movie, we sat in the car and talked.
It was a good night....
It only took a few days before i was in your bed lying next to you!
You naturally made me laugh,
you naturally made me smile :)
It was like this weird cool ass vibe we had.
We found out we were both Leo's
i thought to myself how cute,
King and Queen!!
It only took a few weeks before you were officially mine and i was yours!
But of course,
outside of this weird cool as thing we had going on, there was reality.
I had work and school.
You had a job...until you quit.
Which led you to spend more time at home playing video games.
and since i had my own life outside of our relationship...i couldn't spend as much time with you as you or myself would've like.
I spent the night with you when i could.....but i guess that was not good enough.
You had so much free time on your hands that it led you to converse with other females.
Giving them your attention, making them feel all special and shit.
I saw myself losing focus on my studies.
My homework turned into checking your IG every night. Creepin on other girls pages to see what you were saying to them.
After our break up....
i found myself crying, balling my eyes out in my grandpa's arms feigning for comfort.
i hated you!!
you disgusted me!!
After our break up,
you constantly called me..apologizing and wanting me back.
All i could say each time was
"I need my space"
At the time, i don't believe you knew what that meant because you never stopped calling.
Understand that i was hurt.
Another disappointment!
What tf did i do wrong? i know i'm not perfect...
& i don't aspire to be!
it has taken me 3 years to fully forgive you. I am finally at the point where when you talk to me...
I am actually listening again.
I'm just now interested in you again.
I don't feel disgusted by you anymore, when i'm around you now
i see growth
i see maturity.
Don't get me wrong, there is still that little voice in the back of my head
that tells me
"Don't waste your time, don't go back!"
One thing i admire most;
is that you've never actually given up on me, i appreciate you for that.
You must see something in me that i don't see in myself
I'm not perfect
i know my flaws
I've address my flaws.
I never thought i'd enjoy being around you again.
Your aggressive with me, i like it!
You make me laugh so much it's not even funny
Normally guys are terrible at making me laugh because they just try so hard.
i never thought i'd be saying I Miss You to you ever again and actually mean it
But, I do, indeed, miss you!
3 years later, I let my guard down with you again.
I hated you for a long time, but that soft spot i have for you never left.
I don't know.
I guess it's just unfinished business.
xoxo
