Monday
Wednesday
Late Night Thoughts...
This is probably the most open post I have on here...had to post again ❤️
The Perfect Boyfriend list..
Taller than me
Cute smile
Tells me I'm beautiful
Encourages me
Honest and open with me
Accepts my flaws
Loyal
Good conversation
Protects me
Funny
Ambitious
Goal oriented
Constantly showing he cares
-❤️
Monday
Sunday
Saturday
Quote of the night.. ❤️
Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. Just trust what you feel.
Thursday
when you finally feel like everything is starting to come together. When the things you worked so hard for, start to fall in place. Although your journey may be long, stressful, annoying...at some point you have to realize to take it one step at a time. Continue to have faith in yourself, trust yourself, and go beyond your expectations. Don't limit yourself. There is no limit to anything. Expect the worse before you meet your best...
Wednesday
Tuesday
I know how it feels to give someone your all and still feel unappreciated. Knowing you'd give that person your last, and they'd just take you for granted. At some point you have to realize you have someone else to think about, which is yourself. Realize what you bring to the table. If they don't compare to what you can offer, then leave them. It will just get worse and worse. Putting your all into something for nothing. All your doing is losing yourself trying to please someone else. Your keeping them happy but they don't even TRY to put in effort to keep you happy.
-lesson learned
Monday
Quote of the night...
Let go of the need for your life to be a certain way,
Be open to new ways of looking at things,
Be flexible to new ideas and outlooks,
Let go of the fear of the unknown,
Be yourself and follow your true path.
I open the safe. lock and key in hand. as I look back on 2014, I sort out all the events that have taken place. As the year starts to fade I realize how much I've grown mentally. I look at anything that went wrong and how I overcame those obstacles. remembering how many times I've cried, felt down, and felt like giving up. I notice my circle of friends has become smaller. Crazy how you can be so close with someone and then after a few months that communication starts to die away. I'm happy with how my year went. I've grown to realize that I come first. For years, I put everybody else before me. I've grown mentally as far as relationships. I learned to stop settling for less. I've realized I can do better than who I was involved with. As 2014 starts to fade, I take those memories and store them. I will lock them away, and burn the key. I don't want to reopen anything that has happened thus far. I want to keep moving forward. I don't want to rekindle any past relationships or friendships I had in 2014. I want more. I want better. I want different. As 2014 starts fade, I become more appreciative. I feel more comfortable with myself. I start to love myself. I want 2015 to be better, greater, and I want to have more experiences. As I slowly reach 2015, I start to organize different things I want to accomplish. I just want to keep growing mentally. Thank you 2014 for everything you have gave to me. Although some of your gifts and surprises weren't so good, I appreciate you taking the time to help me realize a lot of things. I won't forget you, but I won't ever come back to you. I'm moving on to 2015 with a whole different aspect. You made me become stronger, mentally. You've helped me open my eyes and realize that everyone I meet... will not stay. You gave me a terrible relationship with someone lol, but as I look back... I see what you were doing. Now I know better and now I can do better. I will always keep you as a memory. I will always remember you. But our time is now coming to an end. I am now closing the lock. As I kiss you goodbye, the key burns.
Sunday
Saturday
Let's Talk About Hair! ☺️
the social media aspect/judgment of a black girl is straight short black hair. PERMED HAIR 😣 I grew up being told that my hair was "nappy" I needed a perm when ever "new growth" grew in. being told that perms "make" your hair grow. getting my ends clipped "makes" my hair grow. I realize those were all lies. When I look back at pictures when I was like 10years old and younger my hair was SO LONG! I realize that PERMS made my hair lose length. Don't get me wrong...I've always had shoulder length hair. BUT...before I started getting perms, in those pictures I could see how thick it was. In which I still have thick hair. But idk...you can definitely see the difference in my hair from when I was a little girl compared to my high school pictures. I have officially been NATURAL for a year now. I LOVE my natural hair. It's soo much fuller, thicker and fluffier than from when I was getting perms. Not to mention my hair grows at a faster pace than it did when I was getting perms. Black women don't realize they can grow long hair naturally. When we get "new growth" it may feel rough compared to the rest of your straightened hair....that is only because when our hair grows in...it's growing In curly! Every black girl has a curl pattern. If more females would go completely natural with no HEAT!!!! They would see their natural curl pattern. My curl pattern is kinky/coily. Of course I wish my curls were looser, but like I said I haven't felt my hair this thick or full in a long time. Of course your hair is not going to grow over night. It takes time and patience, just like anything else. The MEDIA has put on this image that every black girl needs weave, if a black girl does wear weave that means she's bald head! LIKE NO!!!!! I have seen plenty of girls with ALOT of hair still get sew ins. Even myself! Just because a girl wears weave does not mean she doesn't have hair. But that's the first thought that comes to a persons mind. Why are we scared of our Afros? We were born with this thick coily hair! It doesn't get any "realer" than that. I love my fro. Yes I wear weave here and there. But I still take time out every week...yes, EVERY WEEK to wash my hair. I wash, condition, and moisturize every week! I will not ever go back to perms nor when I have kids...will they get perms!!! 🚫
there is a difference between someone who wants you, and someone who would do anything to keep you. how can you tell when someone is really showing interest in you? are they just obsessed with your looks? is it the materialistic things you have? Personally....I don't care about the money, the car, or what clothing brands he chooses to wear. I care about his mind. His body. His health. His goals. I believe in encouragement. Making someone feel good about themselves. Constantly letting them know how much you appreciate them. I just want his time. His conversation when I need it. His words. Sometimes all you want is that one person to tell you they love you and everything is going to be okay. a simple hug. I don't need the gifts, the surprises. Those things don't impress me. I just want that warm feeling knowing he will always stand by me.
random thoughts...
Remember to compliment people on their qualities other than their looks. Remind them of their kindness, thoughtfulness, and intelligence. Tell them about how powerful and capable they are.
If you hug her, please be careful. She's fragile. Her heart, can easily be broken. Her tears, she hides them. Only when the sun goes down and the moon comes up, when her head rest on her pillow is when her eyes water. Her smile, that pretty smile of hers that you like, can easily be brought upon her face just to hide emotions of a girl whose mind has been played with.
Thursday
(WARNING)...this is not a poem
Stressed. on going headaches. major headaches. mentally falling apart. Struggling to keep my eyes open. writing poems in the middle of class to calm myself. feeling like I'm losing myself. This has honestly been the hardest semester i have ever had. like seriously. the worst. Trying so hard to keep up. Working two jobs in order to participate in this holiday season. Wanting to give this season, rather than ask. Wanting some type of satisfaction. I forget i still have someone else to think about....myself. I tend to forget to keep myself happy. But then again...it's hard when i have a pile of things to do. I spend so much time trying to please everyone else...that i start to lose myself. I have the biggest downfall of getting TOO caught up. I apologize to whoever is reading this long complaint. This is not a poem. It was not meant to be a poem. It's purpose is to help clear my head. I'm literally writing this in my anatomy and physiology class. My teacher stands before me, lecturing about the respiratory tract system. I lift my head up every now and then to act like I'm paying attention. I'm sure she thinks I'm just taking notes. I really need to get away. a sweet vacation. just a few hours by myself. If you cared about what's going on, you'd keep reading....if not then stop...this is not a poem. But misery loves company, so i'd take it you'r still reading. people love to hear about others downfall. They don't care about you'r accomplishments. they just want to know everything that is not going right with you. Those are helpless people...with no life.
The company of misery is the company who wants others to fail with them. I will say, I AM NOT MISERABLE! Far from it.
All this stress is coming from hard work.
your still reading?
That's fine. I'm actually done.
My mind is relaxed.
Not clear enough, but relaxed enough.
Wednesday
While you ignore her, another guy is giving her all his attention. He's feeding off of her broken energy, the energy that you took out of her a long time ago. She doesn't get excited when she see's you anymore. Her eyes don't light up the way they used to. Her heart may pound hard and race fast just because of memories that she's remembering of you. But she doesn't get that tingly feeling in her body anymore. You made her feel like she had no chance with you, you put her in a competition with other girls to fight for your love. She was the strongest competitor. She stayed with you while you were down! She still strived for your attention even when she felt ignored. She helped you in your times of need. But you never noticed. In your mind, she was the weakest link. Because she wasn't the first or the quickest to open her legs or open her mouth in the ways you would've enjoyed. She wasn't nesescarrily throwing herself at you constantly like them other girls. And because of that, she was just another girl in the crowd to you. Now that she has walked away, you seem to notice her. You want her back now. But she lost the competition. And has decided not to compete for a worthless prize again. In reality it's your loss, not hers. And the real winner is the guy who now has her full attention.
Monday
Sunday
Humble..
Friday
Quote Of The Day...
"Let Go"
In other words, breath....sit back, relax, take a deep breath. Let go of all the bullsh**. Let go of anything that's stressing you. Let go of all the negativity surrounding you. BREATHE! Surround yourself with positve uplifting surroundings. Fulfil your mind with peaceful images...peaceful words.. RELAX!
Wednesday
Late Night Thoughts...
Excuse me as I ramble on about complete nonsense. Or as I'd like to call it...deep thinking. Random thoughts crowd my mind, daily I think of different secenerio's. These secenerio's no one else would understand. I don't expect you to understand. First off, let me talk about relationships. It seems as though relationships are so basic. Based off of good looks and physical attraction. What about the pshychological aspect? What happened to good conversation? Have you met someone who wants to get so deep in your mind where they can look at you and know exactly what your thinking? I'd rather spend my time getting inside my partners mind, and know exactly what he's feeling, what he's thinking and his different aspects of life. I am not the type of person to come out and tell my life story. You have to actually TALK to me. And I mean really talk. There has to be good conversation in order for me to come out and talk about myself. On a day to day basis, I only talk about myself to a certain extent. I am waiting for someone who is willing and wants to undress my mind, reveal my inner thoughts, and view my aspects of life without judging me. Due to my pshychology and philosophy class, I've learned to keep an open mind and realize that not everyone thinks the same. We all don't come from the same background. I've learned not judge. I've learned to keep my eyes and ears open.
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